Today, two weeks past the American election and two long weeks of America’s new reality. I will attempt to write a few thoughts. When I orginally wrote this two weeks ago I was struggling; not much has changed. Omnipresent occurrences: sobbing jags, breath holding, feeling sick in my gut. Now the sobbing jags are not constant, but tears come easily. What a change from Tuesday, November 8, election day. Maybe you are wondering how those tools I write about are working for me now or even if they are working.
Awareness? Awareness is working, for better or worse. Not that it helps me feel OK, but, it helps me stop and breathe. Awareness reminds me that grief is on-going and will be for some time. Stopping? At this point, two weeks into the new reality, sometimes in those moments of stopping I can think about constructive contributions I can make to help heal grieving souls, including my own. Breath? In those small windows of stopping my nervous system appreciates fresh breath and allows visions of beautiful friends and family. New directions? In those short moments I tell my shoulders to release and widen and breath comes again. Now I gaze out my windows and see the delicious sight of a beautiful family which personifies diversity in our city. They seem happy and are taking photos of the 4 of them, Mom, Dad, young girl (maybe 8-9 years old), and a baby girl the Dad is carrying in a front pack. My tears again! But, I notice they are tears this time, not sobbing. I also notice sun is trying to peak through the clouds. We all need that…sun coming through the clouds.
Yesterday the words to this spiritual came to mind and I tried to sing the words, even haltingly, through the sadness. We must keep hope alive and continue to work for the reality we envision!
Soon I will be done with the troubles of the world..
No more weepin’ No more wailin’…
Soon I will be done with the troubles of the world…