The essence of how we see ourselves, other people, the world, and the future is one simple definition of core belief found in the dictionary. This defnition seemed a bit broad, so I looked further on the internet and found the following from the Center for Clinical Interventions: Core beliefs are stongly held, rigid and inflexible beliefs that are maintained by the tendency to focus on information that suppports that belief and ignoring information that contradicts it.
I recently experienced several days of real vacation. To me a real vacation means I get to journey to someplace with no work or duties; it also sometimes means staying in a nice hotel, eating nice long leisurely meals prepared by someone else, and sleeping late. That four days away was this sort of vacation. The book I carried along to read seemed to, chapter after chapter, have lessons for me. I find, time and again, that the practice of stopping, being aware, and taking the time to breathe consciously, usually stirs memories and rumination on habits. This particular book fed that inclination to ruminate and got me to thinking about my own core beliefs, especially those surrounding career choices, habits and happiness.
The author, a script writer in Hollywood, was caught in that city’s frenetic energy. In the past he had worked as a writer for famous comedians and well-known shows. Finding himself, as a middle-aged artist having to recreate more work, he was frustrated and depressed that all was not going well. His entire identity was caught up in his fame as a script writer; to him, success and happiness was running the rat race and winning. In this case, his core belief about career success and happiness was not supporting him well. Not until his wife hauled him, kicking and screaming, to a restoration project in Tuscany, did he slow down enough to realize what life really could be.
Reading his story, I found myself relating to this core belief surrounding one’s career choices and work ethic. I have no doubt other artists and professionals can relate as well. The standards for success to which I have continued to hold myself for years have not varied, so much so that I realize I have been blind to what success I have actually had. Silly isn’t it? The point is, over the few days of real vacation and the reading of one memoir, it became clear that these truths I have held sacred are no longer working and maybe never did. It never had occurred to me that my ideas were so rigidly embedded in my being or that there might be an error in my thinking or believing. What a shock! In pausing and recognizing this truth, I came to realize that my beliefs were a source which dictated that I must keep striving for more and more success. Yet, the rigidty of that thinking never allowed me to see the success while I was actually experiencing it. How sad is that? But finally, what a relief to know and understand. During this brief holiday in Southern California, it suddenly became very clear that I am not immune to being stuck in core beliefs that no long are valid. Time for an attitude adjustment, big time.
As the author learned that taking time to notice can be life-saving, literally, I am attempting to rethink and explore my outdated core truths. Once again, taking the time to pause, to exhale and to breathe helps bring balance to each day’s progress in this regard. I challenge everyone to pause a bit and reassess core beliefs about what is important in life. What defines success and happiness? Do you have any rigid and inflexible beliefs you willingly maintain by having the tendency to focus on information that suppports that belief and yet, ignore information that contradicts it? These very beliefs just may be the roadblocks to the success and happiness you are seeking. Pause, breathe, take the time to notice and to question. It just might be life-saving.