Remembering My Friend…

I had thought I would write about the 4th of July holiday and that I would be way ahead, especially since I was nearly a month late writing about Memorial Day. Alas, good intentions sometimes are just that. Life interrupted and my choice has changed. A few days after I originally started I found myself stopping even more often than usual to just pause, breathe, and then repeat again and again.

You see, I received the news that a very old friend died. It is not unusual that this news would give anyone pause to reflect and it has me. Wayne was a person whom I knew since before kindergarten; I have photos of us the first day of kindergarten and the day of high school graduation. All growing up, I felt he was like a brother; I was just 7 weeks older than he. We lived in a very small town in Central New York State. He also lived just a few houses from me, his sister was my best friend, and his parents were high school/lifelong friends of my parents. Seemingly numb at first, I admit I was very teary when another friend and former neighbor wrote me with the news, asking me if I had any additional information. I had not seen him in more years than I can remember. We had only a few brief bits of communication on the internet a few years ago as well as a short phone conversation. Certainly memories of bygone days have been stimulated by what other friends have so eloquently written about him, and my memories are bittersweet.

He was a magnificent athlete, being a star high school basketball player and baseball player. He also proved to be a talented musician, playing keyboard for gigs with his musician brother as well as playing organ at church. Through high school, when we lived close, he was a good friend, now he is gone. These moments are sudden reminders of how brief life is and how fast time marches on. I am also brought to the reality of lost connections as we move to different cities and no longer see family and friends who had become extended family. I had already been thinking about this reality of disconnect lately, even before hearing about my friend. I suppose because of moving often and having a small family, my friends have always been uber-important, and it has been difficult to face the reality of how distance complicates carrying on relationships. None-the-less, these people with whom we have shared so much of life remain a part of who we are. I do regret that I never really got to know my friend as an adult. My memories will remain picturing him as a healthy, handsome, young basketball player. I see him, because he was not the tallest, dribbling the basketball in and out of the taller opposing team members, with much finesse, I must add. I pause, I smile. I think he would be very happy that this is my memory. RIP Wayne!

I sit outside on this beautiful July day and I hear wind chimes tinkling in the soft breeze. I am reminded how fast our lives fly by and how precious is each day.

Pause Breathe Onward