Multnomah Falls, Oregon
I will start by saying right out that I am not, by nature, a risktaker. This week my two grandchildren have given me real lessons in what is means to take risks. It means being scared and standing up to the fear. Encouragement from others and maybe even determined hand-holding are necessary for all of us as we stand waiting to jump off that high board. Maybe especially, determined hand-holding! But, in the end, it is the person taking the risk who really experiences the emotions, sometimes trauma, which accompanies that experience. Both grandchildren accomplished firsts in their young lives this week and yes, they had lots of support and some hand-holding.
A week ago I was not present to watch Jason’s risk taking, but I have viewed his moment many times on a video. His feat was to up his game on his floor exercise program at the Oregon State Gymnastics Championships. He had never done a round-off-back-handspring without a mat. This 9-year-old was determined and took the risk. Yes, he completed it with a nice solid landing. Disappointingly, his efforts did not afford him the higer score he had wished; but, that was not the important learning. His prize came in the form of raising his self-esteem and cheers of high praise from his coach, his teammates, and his family. Most important was the confidence and knowledge he gained from daring to take the risk and trust his ability to move forward. He has definitely moved on from his extreme anxiety at his first meet three years ago to being courageous enough to take a risk!
Enter now, 11-year-old Aislyn. In some free moments during a recent snow day, Aislyn wrote a song. She has been taking piano lessons and has perfomed well in piano recitals for several years. This snow day she wrote her song, the music and lyrics; she also figured out how to accompany herself on the piano while singing the song. Because her choir director, a graduate of Berklee College of Music, thought the song should be heard, Aislyn was asked to perform solo at the recent concert. Aislyn was being asked to take a huge personal risk. She sings all the time at home and school, but had never performed a whole song alone, in front of an audience. What to do? Performance anxiety loomed it’s not so friendly head. With much coaching and very caring support from her family and her teacher, she somehow made it through a traumatic afternoon dress rehearsal and arrived at the concert venue. I had tried to share breathing tools with her to help calm the nerves. Actually, we all needed to practice our own exhaling. Especially me! From the smile on her face after her sound check with the very good sound engineer, I felt confident for her and think she had even started to enjoy the “star” moment. She opened the concert with her song and performed, seemingly, with confidence! As with Jason, Aislyn’s prize was the thrill of success in getting out there and doing the job and doing it well. She had done the work. Another reminder that support and hand-holding occur before these risk-taking experiences, but that ultimately, the one taking the risk is the one who choses, in the end, to accept the challenge_ to jump off that high board into the unknown.
Both of these young people’s experiences remind us adults of the value in doing the work day after day and then daring to take that first leap toward putting the work out there. It is a lesson that I, for one, certainly need to keep in mind. Even as adults we still have scary moments when we realize it is time to step forward and take that risk, whether is in business, with relationships, with sports, in performing, or in so many other areas of life. I know when my next challenge comes and I feel the fear creeping in, I will pause and remember these young people and how, though scared, they jumped. The thrill of meeting that challenge can be yours and it can be mine as well. Now, that is exihilarating! Let’s go for it!