Japanese Garden-Portland,OR
This summer has been yet another challenge to my ability to be aware, breathe and let tension go. Such is the rhythm of hope. Sometimes it felt as if all I was saying to myself was “stop-breathe-neck free” over and over again. After six months of seriously looking for a new and brighter home, we finally found where we wanted to live. This has been an ongoing, off and on, quest for some time. First came the denial and disbelief that moving and a brighter space would actually make a difference or would be worth the tremendously hard work of actually moving house. Although I am a firm believer that life enfolds in it’s own time and one must be aware and trust that, the doubts love to creep into the picture and dominate.
Practicing the principals of F.M. Alexander is not for the faint of heart. Just when you think you have “got it”, a twist comes along; only truly stopping and waiting/not reacting can bring clarity to the situation. It is then that the value of a life-long practice of awareness and exploration of the “self” is evident. This practice of awareness and learning to literally STOP takes courage and the willingness to take responsibility; it’s rewards are beyond measure.
Yes, after six months of actively searching we found a potential home. This six months does not take into account the numerous months and even several years of saying no to the possibility that a move was even possible or the months of agonizing whether I was brave enough to actually move forward to action. You see, I loved my former home and it’s wonderfully convenient location. Alas, the universe kept presenting me with nudges, enough so that we took a test look at a place. Talk about awareness! The minute I walked into the big open space with huge windows all around, I felt as if I could breathe. Hmmm… I had not been aware that I felt I could not breathe in the other space. Bingo, another valuable observation. Still many fears of making that step forward predominated. Yet, still the universe kept nudging. The rhythm of hope from elation that there might be a solution to fear about how a move could ever, ever, happen continued on! A simultaneous buying and closing is and was a very complicated up and down happening. Moving forward was made a bit easier by taking the time to look at and be aware of how life and place has evolved over a lifetime. Still, without the practice of truly stopping, breathing, being aware and resetting the nervous system, the ability to move forward positively would simply not have happened.
I now look out my huge windows onto a busy urban square and see busses, light rail, and cars. I can see the rhythm of the city as it awakens in the morning, slows during the day, and again bustles with activity as workers pour off light rail in the evening. We see the sun up in the morning and can see the wonderful cloud formations come and go. The process of being completely moved has not yet been fully accomplished. But, as I sit here working in the new space, I feel my free breath and I smile. Fortunately, most of us do not experience the drama of moving very often. But, each of us has her own similar version of stressors and challenges. Today experiment and take a minute pause each hour as you move through the day. Use that time to exhale, breathe and let any tension drain from your being. Notice how that small habit changes the rhythm of your day. Be aware of what you discover in that delicious moment of pause?
EXHALE * BREATHE * ONWARD