Guilt or Shame?

It is important to me that I take time to read different points of view and today was no exception. The news being broadcast on the internet in America continues to be scattered with horror stories, mostly as a result of actions and reactions of a population that seems full of hate, intolerance, judgement, and fear. PAUSE-EXHALE-BREATHE – that is what I teach and what I have been practicing with a vengeance.

My question is this: how does one move beyond the hate mongers? PAUSE-EXHALE-BREATHE-STOP! I read a Forbes posting this morning which seemed valuable: 10 Toxic People You Should Avoid at All Costs by Francis Bradberry:  http://www.forbes.com/sites/travisbradberry/2015/11/10/10-toxic-people-you-should-avoid-at-all-costs/#6975803fb68e. This piece offered much which can be applied to not only toxic people in the work place, but hate mongering in the news as well. It is not surprising that the avoidance technique involves lots of emphasis on awareness, not only of those others to avoid, but perhaps more importantly, in my view, awareness of ourselves.

When I started writing this piece I was raving mad – sick to my stomach mad! Fortunately, I was interrupted and the long pause allowed me to quiet my nervous system. Recently, I was writing a short piece on guilt. Sister Wendy, an outspoken nun who had a lively program about art on the BBC in the 80’s, described guilt as “egocentric, self-centered, wallowing in the consequences of our wrong doing.” I will admit to often feeling guilty about my ancestors coming to America and ultimately ravaging the beautiful wilderness. But, feeling guilty is not a solution to any problem. For me to feel guilty about my many luxuries when others are homeless, for example, serves no purpose. Sister Wendy, in the same interview, said that remorse is a whole different matter from guilt, remorse meaning deep and painful regret. Does remorse = shame, I ask? Again, I STOP-BREATHE-RELEASE MY SHOULDERS.

Shame. My raging anger dissolved into recognizing the shame I feel as I think about how my ancestors invaded this country, annihilated Native peoples, and displaced most of those who were left. Then, these invaders imported slaves to do their work, mostly treating these human beings like animals. There is no running away from these facts. Fast forward to our modern times. There still are those who bark their message, that they are superior, loud and clear and still there are those in society who continue to fight for freedom and equality in this their own native land or in this country to which their ancestors were dragged. All of this truth is mind boggling to me. And yes, it bothers me and there is no running the tape back to remake history. But, it does seem to me that all of us have the responsibility to make the world a more kind, compassionate place. This is the responsibility of all of us, to become active and call out racism, and bigotry when we encounter it, to work to maintain what native lands and wilderness is left, and to remember we must be better stewards of this land that we stole. We can also teach our children compassion for all humans. We white people are not superior by virtue of our ancestral roots. We can work to insure no one lacks and that “land of the free, home of the brave” in not a lie.

I PAUSE-BREATHE and this time, UNCLENCH MY JAW! Mostly I STOP, vowing to be aware and call out any wrongs or racism, I hear or see in my own circle. Recently I heard a lecture by Annie Griffiths, who was one of the first female photographers at National Geographic. She has traveled all over the world taking magnificent photos of humanity. She told about growing up in homogenous Minnesota before starting her travels to all points of the world. She made the point that looking into the eyes of peoples from all corners of the world, it became clear that all are equal under the skin. Their humanity is reflected in her amazing photography. May each of us PAUSE, look into the eyes of our neighbors, all of them, and see their humanity and it’s beauty, in all it’s diversity!

STOP-BREATHE-MOVE FORWARD